Flights of Fancy | Big News for Birdie

By Birdie

I’m normally of the opinion that bloggers don’t usually notice when someone we’re following hasn’t posted, or commented, in a while.  We’re so caught up in visiting others, working on our own, and dealing with our real world that it may not jump right out at us when someone disappears.  It doesn’t mean we don’t care, it’s just a big blogging world out there.  I don’t expect you guys have noticed how I’ve been a terrible blogger for the last two-ish weeks, but regardless I’m sorry.  I honestly can’t see where it’s going to get better in the next few weeks, at least, so (to ease my own guilt) I’ve decided to give you guys an update on my personal life.

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So, I’m not sure if you remember this post, but life is starting to look better.  My husband’s foot is healed enough that he’s back to work on restrictions, because money was so tight.  My puppy is mostly healed.  Things are moving again.  That’s all great.  Then, nearly two weeks ago, I found out that I’m pregnant.

Just to give you a little bit of perspective; I did think I wanted to have a second child when I was younger, but as we got older and more settled in our lives the need for another baby dwindled.  I also have fertility problems, so that I had my daughter naturally was pretty amazing, I was sure it wouldn’t happen again.  In fact, we were pretty adamant we did not want another one.  Seeing that plus sign on the test was shocking, but after calming down I think we both realized this was our last chance and we both really want it.

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I also have anxiety and I’m 38 years old.  Now that I’m excited for another baby, I find myself obsessing in other ways.  I mean, whether it’s an outdated guideline or not, the idea that this pregnancy is ‘high risk’ triggers all my fears.  I can’t seem to stop googling just to put my mind at ease.  Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn’t.  What it does mean is that I haven’t done anything on Birdie Bookworm, because I’m caught up in my own head.  The last two weeks on this blog were all pre-scheduled posts, and the ones that weren’t complete I just removed.  I’m reading, I’m always reading, but I find that I’m grabbing my feel good favorites, rather than any of the ‘unknown’ books.

I feel like daily emotion is excitement, but so close to the surface is worry, and anything can set me off and bring on panic.  If you have positive thoughts, prayers, well wishes, please send them my way and maybe in 8ish months I’ll be posting pictures of my hatchling.

hatchling

In the meantime, I am really trying to be here.  I will respond to comments as I can, I’ll be posting (hopefully) the easier blog posts and reviews.  Please bear with me, at least for the next few months, I’ll be trying to return to blog hopping as things even out.

Thanks for listening -er, reading.  🙂

 

About Birdie

Don’t look for her in any bar, club, crazy raging party, or anywhere there may be a large gathering of strangers. She’s more likely to be found tucked into the corner of the couch watching one of her favorite shows, or preferably under a comforter with her current novel.

27 Responses

  1. Fictionophile

    Congratulations! In the grand scheme of things your life is much more important than the blog. Take care. I had two high risk pregnancies. One went perfectly, the other did not – though I now have two wonderful, university educated, adult children. Remain positive.

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  7. Lisa

    Congratulations! I had my 2nd baby at 38, after a long period in between, and dealt with all the fears and anxieties as well, so I understand. Eventually, I calmed down and just basked in the joy of finally getting pregnant again (also after fertility issues). All I can say is give yourself lots of pampering and try to relax and let the worries go! And if relaxing and taking care of yourself means less blogging, so be it. Time to put yourself and your needs first!

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    1. Birdie

      Oh my gosh, that makes me feel so much better. I think it helps to hear people who went through something similar and it all worked out. Resting and relaxing is exactly what I’m trying to do. My husband laughs because lately I’m in bed around 8:30 because I’m just tired. I always tell him that my pregnancy app said that women in the 1st trimester burn more energy sleeping than a man does lifting weights. 😀

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