Flights of Fancy | Books I loved I can’t read


Sometimes it’s hard being an adult.  Actually, I think most of the time adulting is hard.  Lately I’ve been thinking of all the ways I’ve changed, now that I’m nearly 40.  There’s so many ways life has gotten rougher, since I’m an old lady.  For instance, my sleep isn’t clean anymore.  I toss and turn all night, and I wake up sore as though my muscles are tensed up while I’m trying to sleep.  Lack of clean REM means I’m always tired.  Always.  Even if I just woke up.  Or, how about all the foods I can’t eat, foods I love, because they upset my digestive system!  Like, wtf!  When did I get acid reflux??  When did I develop irritable bowel syndrome??  What is happening to me!

Still, even as bad as those are, the one I have the hardest time wrapping my head around is my inability to read long, intricate, epic books.  I’ve realized I struggle reading books with more than 600 pages, and usually it’s because books any longer tend to be extremely intensive.  It’s not even a bad thing.  It’s a wonderful thing!  There was a time in my life I searched for the longest and most intense books I could find.  I wanted to read all the Game of Thrones books in the world.  Long books meant I didn’t fly through them too fast, and while I loved finishing a book in a day (because it freaked my friends out), I personally preferred books that slowed me down.

Today the problem is, the books that slow me down put me to sleep!  There are so many wonderful books I know I would adore, but I can’t read them.  Every once in a while my brain will go, “Seriously Wendy?  You can read a book.  It’s all in your head, dude.  Just pick it up and read it.”  So, I do.  Not too long back I tried to read Lies of Locke Lamora, because it’s been on my ‘To Read’ list for years.  I know, deep in my gut, I would absolutely love it.  I want to complete it so badly!  Yet, for some reason (after 5 days and only making it, like, 4 chapters) I had to admit how every single time I picked it up to read I would immediately fall asleep.  It’s like, for me there was no need to drink warm milk or count sheep.  I only needed to pick up Gentleman Bastards and I passed right the f*ck out.  It honestly kills me.  It hurts my heart and soul.  Being a stressed adult has affected my reading habits and ability, and sadly there’s no medicine for what ails me.

It’s not even new books either.  I find I can’t even reread old favorites, which was the entire point of this post.  There are so many books I’ve loved over the years I’m unable to read now, and so they sit lonely on my shelf taking up space.  I decided that even though we can no longer interact we are best friends forever, and I figured the least I can do is commemorate them today.  So, without further adieu…

In Memoriam

Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean M. Auel

Clan of the Cave Bear

My heart!  My love for Ayla, Creb and Iza knows no bounds.
Even if we can’t be together again, you will always be my first fictional family.

Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley

Mists of Avalon

The story of King Arthur told by the women of the story.
A King Arthur story where Morgaine isn’t automatically the villain.

Mary Queen of Scotland and The Isles by Margaret George

Mary Queen of Scotland

The best book I’ve ever read from my Historical Fictional phase.
Mary Queen of Scots was so emotional, to this day it is still my most heartbreaking read.

Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell

Gone with the Wind

Gone with the Wind is two fold.  I can’t read it without getting drowsy.
Yet, having grown up and seen the worst of the world, I also don’t have much interest.
Frankly my Dear, I don’t give a damn.

Eye of the World by Robert Jordan

Eye of the World

Oh how I loved this series!
I made it through nine books, back when I could read these massive tomes.
Not anymore.  Now I stare at them and mourn.

Am I the only one out there with this ailment?
Do you have any books you can’t read anymore?
Is your heart broken?
If so, can we start a club?


About Birdie

Don’t look for her in any bar, club, crazy raging party, or anywhere there may be a large gathering of strangers. She’s more likely to be found tucked into the corner of the couch watching one of her favorite shows, or preferably under a comforter with her current novel.

15 Responses

  1. Zzzzzzzz…
    Hunh? What happened? Did I miss something? I was reading this article, and 45 minutes later I wake up with a crick in my neck. :-/
    Yeah, Wendy, it is disturbing to me that as I get older, my reading capacity has dwindled. I struggle to remain a reading person, but failing eyesight, decreasing attention span, and the ability to remain conscious are making reading more and more difficult.

    Your boat sharing pal,
    ~Icky. 🙂


  2. Oh, no, not Gone With the Wind! I haven’t come across this problem… yet… but I do agree with all the other age-related things! I constantly have aches and pains, and I don’t know where they come from!


  3. Ahhh! This is scary! I have never even thought age would effect my reading other than my tastes change! I tried re-reading Harry Potter earlier this year and struggled because it was almost too easy? But now I am listening to the Audiobooks and its much better!


  4. i thought i was the only one. Pheww! For each book I read for book club, the first thing I do is see how many pages it is and then mentally calculate how many pages a day I have to read to be finished in time mainly because A) I’m tired and B) in case the book is not good and I have to sludge my way through it while staying awake.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I find the opposite is true for me; I have much more patience with a longer book than I used to. Having said that, it has to grab me right from the beginning if I’m going to sit down and read it. And with Fantasy, particularly Epic Fantasy, that’s not always the case. It seems to be easier with Historical Fiction for me.

    Thanks for sharing! 🙂


  6. Reading for me has become a necessity that I’m older – I can’t go without a day without finding the time to sit and read – it’s my form of meditation and a way to cope with the “joys” of Menopause. For long books I just choose the ones that will captivate me, and I find that I can still read them.


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